Crawling
by kinbari-nico-ru-maikeru
Summary: Third (and final) Chapter Up - Song: "With You" by Linkin Park - The End of the Story!
1. Crawling

**"Crawling"**

  


_**Author's note- **This is technically the first time I've written a total angst song fic. It's basically Inuyasha trying the think of his human and his youkai sides, and Kikyo vs. Kagome. Please don't flame! And this fic is in Inuyasha's point of view._

_**Disclaimer-** I don't own Inuyasha. Rumiko Takahashi does. And I don't own the song "Crawling". That credit goes to Linkin Park._

  


* * * *

  


_**Crawling in my skin**_

_**these wounds they will not heal**_

_**fear is how I fall**_

_**confusing what is real**_

  


It's the new moon. The worst night in the whole damn "calender" or whatever that wench calls it. I feel empty each time the stupid thing comes up. My stupid human side acts all pathetic and weak. Especially now that Kagome has "graciously" allowed me to stay at her house during that time. Now the damn wench won't leave me alone! Can't she see that I need to be alone at a time? Huh? She can go do those goddamn tests she complains about missing, or whatever. 

I look over my shoulder, and see a small pond in Kagome's backyard. Near the Goshinboku tree. Cursed tree. Sighing, I walk over towards it, and climb (pitifully, I might add) up it, a few branches below the scar. The one that even in my human form, makes my youkai blood boil.

It's Naraku's fault, I try to tell myself, but it's not true. It's my own goddamn fault. Suddenly, without warning, I fall asleep in the branches.

  


_**There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface**_

_**consuming/confusing**_

_**this lack of self control I fear is never ending**_

_**controlling/I can't seem**_

  


(*This takes place a few days later*)

I hold onto the Tetsusaiga, tightly. I run quickly, away from Kagome, away from Kikyo. Away from the hanyou me. Another attack. By Sesshoumaru, of course. My youkai blood has risen to the surface, again. Even with this sword in my possession.

I stop beside a lake, in a clearing. I can see the moon clearly, and it signals a full moon. The strongest night of the month. I stop running, but stomp over towards the lake to wash off the dried blood. Pain leaks from each wound each time the water washes over it.

I look at my reflection, and see my youkai form. My eyes, bright red with violet slits, and the red stripes on my cheeks. Then, I look to the left of my reflection, and see my human form. The pathetic form. I growl at it, and swipe at the reflection, trying to rid it from my memories.

But it remains there. It remains a part of me.

I growl, angrily, and, putting my clothes back on, run from the lake.

  


_**to find myself again**_

_**my walls are closing in**_

_**(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's**_

_**just too much pressure to take)**_

_**I've felt this way before**_

_**so insecure**_

  


_**crawling in my skin**_

_**these wounds they will not heal**_

_**fear is how I fall**_

_**confusing what is real**_

  


(*The day afterward*)

Kagome looks at me, warily, as does the taijiya and the bouzou. It's as if I'm gonna just jump out and kill them. Might as well, for all the trouble they put me through. But, I do need Kagome to find the damn shards... but after... Nah, I don't think I'll kill her then.

I look at all of them, and jump into the branches of a nearby tree. I can barely hear "he's moody again" from one of them.

I don't give a damn what any of them think about me, and they know. I growl at nothing but myself.

Why am I tormenting myself like this? The youkai me wants to rip and tear and shred their bodies until... until what? Until I want to kill some more?

But my human, pathetic self, it wants to help humans. Feh. Like I'm actually gonna do that. I look down at the group, and see only one face in my direction. Only one face filled with compassion and pity.

Damn Kagome.

_**discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me**_

_**distracting/reacting**_

_**against my will I stand beside my own reflection**_

_**it's haunting I can't seem**_

  


_**to find myself again**_

_**my walls are closing in**_

_**(without a sense of confidence and I'm convinced that there's**_

_**just too much pressure to take)**_

_**I've felt this way before**_

_**so insecure**_

  


(*The next new moon*)

Kagome's sitting with me, holding my hand as if she understands. Understands what?! That she's human? She's used to the weakness, to the lack of eyesight, smell, or hearing? Gods, she's dense sometimes.

"Inuyasha... I'm sorry..." she whispers. Even in my human form, I can hear her say it. "You probably want me to be alone... I'll leave..." She walks away, faster so that I won't be able to catch up.

I won't follow though. I'm not some baka puppy that follows it's owner, which Kagome isn't. I pull at the beads around my neck, even though I know it won't come off.

I look around at my surroundings. After an afternoon of growling and the infernal "sit" regimen, I convenced Kagome to stay in the Sengoku Jidai while I'm human.

I feel her aura. Her, of course, being Kikyo. I walk towards her aura, and find her waiting for me.

"Inuyasha... I've been waiting for you..." She says. I look at her, but... unlike my hanyou self, I can't feel anything for her except for remorse and sadness. "Come with me to hell... Leave my reincarnate here."

I don't answer, instead, I close my eyes. She walks up to me, and wraps her arms around my waist.

"I love you, Inuyasha... stay like this..." She whispers, as she kisses my face. I push her away.

"What about me? The real me? The hanyou?" I ask. She doesn't answer. I finally know. I narrow my eyes, and walk away.

What is going on with me?! I would never do something like that towards Kikyo! I sigh, and sit on the cold ground, waiting for sleep to come and take me from this torment of being a human.

  


_**crawling in my skin**_

_**these wounds they will not heal**_

_**fear is how I fall**_

_**confusing what is real**_

  


_**there's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface**_

_**consuming/confusing what is real**_

_**this lack of self-control I fear is never ending**_

_**controlling/confusing what is real**_

  


(*The night after*)

Kagome sits beside me. She looks at my face, while I move my eyes away. I don't want her to look at me. But my eyes disobey me, and lock with her own. She blinks slowly, and grabs my hand.

"I may not understand so much, but... I do know about being alone," She says, and falls asleep with her head on my shoulder.

I look at her sleeping form. With so much confusing thoughts running through my head, I still can't help but think: I'm not alone anymore.

  


* * * *

**Author's note-** Whoa. Really long, ne? Anyway, hopefully, you liked it. I got the idea from listening to my mp3s and was reading Inu fan fics at the same time. I was also thinking of doing one on the Matchbox 20 song, "Disease".


	2. Lonely

**Lonely**

**(Part 2 of Crawling)**

  


_**Author's note-** Hiya! Got bored, snowday, decided for a songfic to commemorate the end of another one of my fics- "Get over it"! So, here ya go!_

_It's Kagome's turn!_

  


_**Disclaimer- ** I don't own Inuyasha nor the song, "Lonely" by Britney Spears._

  


*~*~*  
**_To think I'm so naïve, how dare you play with me_**

_**I gave you heart 'n soul yea, tell me baby please**_

_**Why you screwin' with my head, I don't think you understand**_

_**I won't take you **** no more, don't knock on my door**_

  


Kagome was shocked when she saw Kikyo and Inuyasha kissing in the forest. Her heart felt like it was breaking again. Each time she found them, she felt like that. Why? It wasn't like she loved the baka, or was she? She shook that thought out of her head, and she looked at the two. Inuyasha seemed more than willing for that kiss.

_I wish he could kiss me like that..._ She thought, and immediately she felt her eyes widen. She couldn't think that! She didn't like him! She couldn't!

She calmed down a bit, and noticed Inuyasha snapped out of a trance. He glared at Kikyo, and slapped her. Kagome's eyes were the size of dinner plates now. He'd never do something like that to Kikyo. Why now?

She could barely hear, "_Kagome... I need her..."_ Kagome glared at him. He didn't really need her. She was just the replacement for Kikyo! She knew that. She also knew that he only considered her as his 'Tama detector'. There went her heart again. It broke at the sound "Tama".

  


_**Not this time because I recognize**_

_**I've heard it all before, and I**_

  


_**I think of all the time that I've wasted**_

_**Think of all the times that I took you back**_

_**Ain't no way I'll be lonely**_

_**I don't wanna let you back in**_

_**Let's just face it**_

_**Better off alone and I won't turn back**_

_**You thought that I would be lonely**_

_**I don't wanna let you back in**_

  


Kagome bit her lip, and stomped away, fairly aware that Inuyasha was following her. He knew she was there, as did he knew every time she 'accidentally' followed him into the forest when Kikyo was near. Kagome took a deep breath, and walked further into the forest, where she could sense two shards.

All during this trip, she heard branches shake, where Inuyasha was, watching her, following her. She smirked. She'd show him. She'd prove that she wasn't weak, and wouldn't need him to lean on.

  


_**Don't tell me how to feel or say that you're for real**_

_**My mind's made up, I'm cool without ya, you got no more appeal**_

_**Now this girl don't need no man to say what she can do or she can't**_

_**Now I live for me and, boy, does that make you weak?**_

  


"Kagome! Where's Inu-koro?" Kouga asked, when she approached him. "He's always following you. I don't like it."

"Shh. I came here on my own, Kouga-kun," Kagome told him, placing a finger on his lips. The wolf youkai grinned.

"So, you're not with him?" Kouga asked. She shook her head.

"Iie, he's with someone else..." Kagome said, her voice starting to crackle, but she stood strong. She wanted Inuyasha to hurt as much as she had been.

"That corpse floating around?" Kouga asked. Kagome nodded. "I don't know why you're always with him. If you mated with me, you'd be Princess of the wolf youkai."

"It's not that I haven't thought about it, Kouga-kun. It's just that in my time, girls don't usually get... mated... until they're older," Kagome told him. He grinned.

"Alright. I'll follow your customs," Kouga said, and lowered his face to hers, and kissed her deeply. She peeked into the forest and saw two golden eyes looking at her. They seemed to hold hurt in them. She then kissed Kouga right back.

The two broke away, and Kouga smiled at her.

"You better get going, or else the Inu-koro would come looking for you," He said.

"I know. Bye, Kouga-kun," Kagome said, and she walked back into the forest.

Inuyasha dropped from his branches, and looked at her, the hurt expression still on his face.

"What were you doing with him?" He asked. She just glared at him, and walked on.

  


_**Not this time because I realize**_

_**I've heard it all before, and I...**_

  


_**I think of all the time that I wasted**_

_**Think of all the times that I took you back**_

_**Ain't no way I'll be lonely**_

_**I don't wanna let you back in**_

_**Let's just face it**_

_**Better off alone and I won't turn back**_

_**You thought that I would be lonely**_

_**I don't wanna let you back in**_

  


"Kagome! Listen to me!" Inuyasha said, angry. He grabbed her arm, and pulled her against him. She felt slightly uncomfortable. She looked into his eyes.

"No!" She said. She pulled against him, but he held onto her arms tightly.

"Listen! Why'd you choose that wimpy wolf?" He asked.

"Maybe I should ask you why'd you choose that dead corpse? It's practically the same thing!" Kagome spit out.

"What do you mean?" Inuyasha asked.

"You treat me like I... I... I'm the one you love, but then you go with Kikyo and you.. you never know what that does to me," Kagome said. She successfully pulled out of his grasp, and said, "I've made my decision." She stomped away from him, towards the well, and Inuyasha stood there in the forest.

  


_**Think of times you made me cry**_

_**You had me so confused**_

_**I'm tired of trying, leave behind this**_

_**What's a girl to do**_

  


Inuyasha looked in the direction Kagome had went. He felt heartbroken. He felt a tear fall down his face, and wiped it away. He wasn't going to follow Kagome. He had a certain wolf youkai to kill.

  


In Kagome's time, she sat, huddled in the wellhouse, crying her eyes out. She realized how many times she's cried because of him. She gritted her teeth, and tightened her fists, angrily.

  


_**Think of all the times you made me sick**_

_**I used to think I couldn't handle it**_

_**What you think, I'm just another chick,**_

_**Mess with Brit, boy you must have tripped**_

_**What were you thinking when you lost my trust?**_

_**You had it all and now your left with nothing**_

_**Ooh, baby, now I know you want my touch**_

_**And now your lonely and you still want me**_

  


Inuyasha leapt into the well, and reached Kagome's time. He didn't get out, because he could hear her crying, and could smell it.

"Damn you, Inuyasha..." She was saying. "Why do I have to suffer like this?!" Inuyasha peeked out, and saw her back to him. She stood up, and he noticed small drops of blood - her blood - falling onto the floor, from her fists.

  


_**I think of all the time that I've wasted**_

_**Think of all the times that I took you back**_

_**Ain't no way I'll be lonely**_

_**I don't wanna let you back in**_

_**Let's just face it**_

_**Better off alone and I won't turn back**_

_**Thought that I would be lonely**_

_**I don't wanna let you back in**_

  


"Kagome...?" Inuyasha said. She turned around, and glared at him.

"Go away, Inuyasha! Go back to her. She's your true love. Not me!" Kagome said. Inuyasha sat on the lip of the well.

"I love YOU, Kagome," He said.

"I don't believe you," She said, and, in a quick sweep, she pushed him into the well, and, finding a bow and arrow, she shot the well, keeping it from working.

  


_Goodbye, Inuyasha..._

  


*~*~*

  


Author's note- I'm sorry if you didn't like that ending. But don't worry, I'll continue this one with another song fic. Tell me what you think of it!


	3. With You

**With You**

**(Part 3 Of Crawling)**

_**Author's note-** Thank you to **Lady Lunara and Katzztar**. I didn't like the ending of the last chapter much, either. But, this one is sure to be better! Promise! Oh, and I forgot, the last chapter was Britney Spears' song, "Lonely". Also, before I forget again, this isn't a Kouga/Kagome fic. And Kouga's not dead. I couldn't kill him!!_

**Disclaimer- **I don't own Inuyasha or the song, "With you" by Linkin Park.

*~*~*

_**I woke up in a dream today**_

_**To the cold of the static and put my cold feet on the floor**_

_**Forgot all about yesterday**_

_**Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore**_

_**A little taste of hypocrisy**_

_**And I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to react**_

_**Even though you're so close to me**_

_**You're still so distant**_

_**And I can't bring you back**_

  


Kagome awoke in the shrine, feeling an unusual feeling of nausea. She wondered where she was. Shouldn't she be in the Sengoku Jidai? Then she looked at the well, and saw the glowing pink arrow protruding from it. She remembered the night before.

**~Flashback~**

_"Kagome, I love YOU," Inuyasha said._

_"I don't believe you," Kagome said, and, in a swift move, pushed him into the well, and, finding a bow and arrow, shot the well so that it wouldn't work anymore._

**~End of Flashback~**

_I'm not returning,_ She thought, and walked back to her home.

  


In the Sengoku Jidai, Inuyasha didn't have it so easily.

"What happened to Kagome-chan?" Shippou asked, sleepily.

"Gone..." Inuyasha muttered. He had tried five times to go through the well, but each time was in vain. She must've put a spell on the well, for he couldn't go through.

"Inuyasha, where is Kagome?" Miroku asked, after waking up. "She usually runs back here."

"She left," Inuyasha answered. Couldn't they leave him alone?! He needed to be alone right now.

He knew he deserved it. Kagome didn't need to be his Tama detector. Heh. Was she even that anymore? She was more like a... reason for living. If she wasn't there, he'd be in Hell with Kikyo by now.

_**It's true the way I feel**_

_**Was promised by your face**_

_**The sound of your voice**_

_**Painted on my memories**_

_**Even if you're not with me**_

_**I'm with you**_

  


After three weeks away from the Sengoku Jidai, Kagome found herself daydreaming about Inuyasha and the others. She could hear him say, "Feh, wench. You don't need these stupid 'tests' of yours!" She smiled at the memory. Without thinking, she started to draw on her notebook paper.

"Hey, Kagome!" Yuka, a friend of her's, said, patting her shoulder. "Whatcha drawin'?" Kagome looked down at her paper, and saw a perfect drawing of Inuyasha. She gulped, and realized she wasn't quite over him as she originally thought.

"Nothing, Yuka. Just a design for a manga I want to draw," Kagome said. Ever since she entered the Sengoku Jidai, she had become better and better at lying to people.

"It's good! Whoever it is, he's cute!" Yuka said, looking at the paper. "But what're the things on his head?"

"His ears," Kagome answered, unconsciously. "He's a inu-hanyou."

"Ooh! It's really good!" Yuka added, and went back to the math assignment they had to do.

  


Inuyasha stood by the well, again. As he did for days on end now. He was so caught up in waiting for Kagome to return that he even forgot to eat. Shippou, Miroku, or Sango would have to bring him something to eat.

_I'm sorry, Kagome... please... return..._ He thought.

  


Somehow, Kagome could hear Inuyasha's voice in her head. It asked her to return. It apologized, too. She shook her head. Her mind was playing pranks on her, now.

"Higurashi, do you want to go to the movies with me tonight?" Hojo asked, after their class was finished. Kagome bit her lip, and nodded.

"Sure, Hojo-kun. I'll see you later," Kagome said, and she walked home.

  


_**You, now I see, keeping everything inside**_

_**with you**_

_**You, now I see, even when I close my eyes**_

  


_**I hit you and you hit me back**_

_**We fall to the floor the rest of the day stands still**_

_**Fine line between this and that**_

_**When things go wrong I pretend the past isn't real**_

_**I'm trapped in this memory**_

  


Kagome tried not to cringe on this date. Hojo was talking about some foreign disease that her grandpa had said she had contracted, and was telling her how to make sure she could get over it.

"Uh huh... really?... fascinating," Kagome said, faking enthusiasm. Hojo paid no heed to her. Suddenly, Kagome's heart clenched. It felt like she couldn't breathe anymore.

"Will you excuse me, Hojo-kun?" Kagome asked. He nodded, and she walked to the restroom.

"Get over it, Higurashi!" Kagome coached herself. "You're not going back to him! You were played for... for... a baka! He's not worth it!"

But a little voice in the back of her mind said, Oh, but I think he does...

"He's not! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him!" She said, slamming her fist against the sink.

  


Inuyasha was feeling despair on his side. He couldn't help but want to leap into the well, and hold Kagome until she admitted she loved him too.

But that would just make him weak. No. He'd wait for her.

Like waiting for her isn't, A voice in his mind said.

He bit his lip, and watched the well.

  


Souta was getting sick of this. He wanted to see Inuyasha-niichan, and he wasn't going to be stopped. Souta walked into the wellhouse, and saw the horrible arrow that was destroying his older sister inside. He, with a burst of strength and courage, pulled the arrow out.

"Inuyasha-niichan!" Souta yelled into the well, as he dropped in.

  


Inuyasha caught the light, "Inuyasha-niichan" from the well, and looked into it. Nothing. He sighed, as if he just imagined it.

"Inuyasha-niichan! Kagome needs you!" The voice came again. This time, it was stronger, and sounded like Kagome's brother's. Swallowing any pride he tried to show, he leapt in.

  


_**And I'm left in the wake of the mistake slow to react**_

_**So even though you're close to me**_

_**You're still so distant**_

_**And I can't bring you back**_

  


Kagome smiled, half-heartedly to Hojo, as she walked up to her house. Her heart was thumping even harder than usual. It hurt to move. She just wanted to lay in her bed, and welcome the fake world of sleep.

"Neechan!" Souta yelled. "Come here!" It sounded like he was in the wellhouse. She didn't want to go there. She would just end up crying, and... she would probably go crazy, because she wouldn't see Inuyasha anymore. She sighed, and walked in, her eyes tightly closed.

"What is it?" She asked.

  


"What is it?" Inuyasha stared at her. She looked thinner than she was, her face was paler, and her eyes looked rimmed, almost as if she had been crying.

"Open your eyes," Souta ordered.

"No, Souta. If you're not gonna tell me, I'm going inside. I'm tired," Kagome said.

"You're always tired! Open your eyes, Kagome!" Souta said. After much hesitation, Inuyasha saw that she wouldn't. He looked at her.

"Kagome, please open your eyes," Inuyasha whispered. She opened her eyes, in surprise. He noticed that even those, which held so much feelings, were blank, and just chips of blue ice.

"Go back, Inuyasha," She said.

"I won't," He said. This time, she wasn't going to push him back in the well.

  


_**It's true the way I feel**_

_**Was promised by your face**_

_**The sound of your voice**_

_**Painted on my memories**_

_**Even if you're not with me**_

_**I'm with you**_

  


He stepped up to her, and held her chin in his hand. She moved her face away. Even though this was what she had been wanting for the longest time, she didn't want him to have the upper hand.

"Go away, Inuyasha. I hate you," She said, in a calm voice. She looked up into his eyes, her eyes nearly mirroring Kikyo's.

"Kagome... I missed you... I waited everyday for you," He said, in a strained whisper.

"Go away, Inuyasha," She said. She tried to keep the cold facade on her face, but she couldn't she started to sob. "You belong to Kikyo... not me... go to her..." She fell onto her knees. Souta, seeing as how this wasn't a good time to be watching, left the shrine.

"You're who I belong to," He whispered, lowering himself to his knees, and trying to wipe the tears off her face.

"But... what about Kikyo?" She asked. "Don't you love her instead?"

"I did. I love you now," He said.

"Only because I'm a replacement," She said, angrily. "I'm alive, and that's it."

"No, I love you for you," Inuyasha said.

  


_**You, now I see, keeping everything inside**_

_**with you**_

_**You, now I see, even when I close my eyes**_

_**With you**_

_**You, now I see, keeping everything inside**_

_**With you**_

_**You, now I see, keeping everything inside**_

  


Kagome looked into his eyes, and saw truth to his words. She smiled lightly. But, she couldn't shake the feeling something wasn't being said between the two.

"What happened to Kikyo?" She asked.

"She's still wandering," Inuyasha answered.

"What about Kouga?"

"I nearly sliced that wolf up," Inuyasha admitted. "I couldn't help but feel angry at him for kissing you."

"But I kissed him back," Kagome pointed out.

"Hai... I saw that..." He drifted off, his eyes filling with hurt.

"I'm sorry..." She whispered.

"You don't have to be, Kagome."

"But I do. I got carried away with this, and... I... I'm sorry," Kagome said, and, grabbing him around the neck, embraced him tightly. He held her.

"_I love you, too, Inuyasha..."_ She whispered, before she fell asleep in his arms.

He smiled when he heard her whisper.

  


_**No, no matter how far we've come**_

_**I can't wait to see tomorrow**_

_**No, no matter how far we've come I**_

_**I can't wait to see tomorrow**_

  


The next day, the two decided to go back to the Sengoku Jidai. Not for shard hunting, but just to... relax. They needed it.

Kagome held his hand when they walked down the path to Kaede's village. Inuyasha looked at her, and grinned.

  


_**With you**_

_**You now I see, keeping everything inside**_

_**With you**_

_**You, now I see, even when I close my eyes**_

_**with you**_

_**You, now I see, keeping everything inside**_

_**with you**_

_**You, now I see, even when I close my eyes**_

  


*~*~*

A/n- that should be the end of Crawling. If you didn't get the first chapter, and not understand why it was part of the story, I'll tell ya: Inuyasha didn't know who he'd choose- Kikyo or Kagome. The last part of that chapter, he realized he'd choose Kagome over Kikyo any day. But Kagome didn't know that.**_ Hope you liked the story!_**

  


~Nikki-chan~

www.koishii-sakura.realsweetheart.com


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